Keywords instead of Resolutions!
Hey Anny,
I hope you are enjoying a warm and sunny Christmas! Merry Christmas to you and the family, say hello from me. Also, you freaks, Christmas should be rainy and wet. (I don't think we had a 'white' Christmas in 5? years.)
Christmas also means the year is almost at it's end. Like in 6 days 2018 will be last year. Which means people come up with resolutions for the new year. I stopped bothering with that some time ago, since it never actually worked for me. Having to do something just cause we enter a new year doesn't really motivate me. It also makes no sense. Instead I try to do "I am not going to drink Cola for the month of November." and then I get my period and beg for it. (Water makes me nauseous, Coke helps the nausea). Yes, this is too much information.
Also it's stupid to think that a new year means new beginnings. I mean it would be pretty amazing if you could leave all the shit and trouble behind and start with a new shiny year to make even worse mistakes. Old and New Year don't work like that.
Anyway, instead of resolutions I am going to bring some KEYWORDS with me to the new year. All of the words are focused on my mental health. 2018 was a big year of HEALING for me, something that started in 2017. So I am taking that word with me to 2019. Work on healing my mental health. After all a healthy mind is a healthy person. I might end up taking this word with me for the rest of my life...
The next word I am taking with me is GROWTH. Personal growth is something that stopped happening when anxiety and depression took over. I had no clue how to develop myself or my ideas. Actually I didn't even realize I stopped thinking and doing. So when I realized this, it became one of my words.
CHANGE is something I really need to do. Mostly from negative and destructive thoughts to more positive constructive thoughts. The first way of thinking is part of most mental health issues, but it doesn't do anything for a person. To be fair I have been working at therapy with CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, a system to cope and improve 'negative' beliefs, thoughts, attitudes, emotions etc.) Another thing I want to change is my situation. I want to go back to a position where I am independent and confident. (Can't remember when I felt these two).
Something I used to do when I was younger was QUESTION everything and annoy people. "Why is this..." was something I asked way to often. And when Google and smart phones happened I stopped asking and looked up the answers. I don't like the feeling of bugging people with question, so I know the answers to the most random things. I still rather look something up online than ask for it. I mean we do live in time and space where the answers are at our fingertip. However not asking questions to others also means less social contact. Plus I do need to learn to ask questions again, after all I am studying to become a social worker. After listening the next important thing is to ask the right kind of questions. Not important just for social workers, but for communication in general.
ASK FOR HELP is another theme that keeps coming up at therapy and some words I really want to take with me to the new year. I feel very uncomfortable and awkward and stupid asking for help. I am however, (un)fortunately a human and not capable doing everything by myself. So I need to learn how to ask for help. It still is a very problematic issue for me. I am working on it!
SELF-CARE might be a cliche word to take with me, but this year I learned and realized how much I neglected this. I am still figuring out what this means and how I can take better care of myself. At the moment all I can say is: Face masks. I have a ridiculous amount of face masks. I have enough face masks to last for 5 to 10 years.
I think these are the words that I have been thinking about the past few months. Other things to do for next year is to make new happier memories. Visit places. New friends. Enjoy life. Be positive (as much as I can be).
Oh and now I'll moan about fireworks. The Netherlands needs to change the law about fireworks during old/new year. For weeks now I have been hearing fireworks going off at randomm times. Which is legal from 6 pm December 31st till 2 am on January 1st. (Which means it starts weeks before and stops days after) The usage of it will worsen on the last day of December. It will be so bad that no bird stays in the country, all the poor animals and pets will hide away. I keep thinking that we end up in a war zone instead of people celebrating a new year. I still am trying to figure out what the fun part of all the noise pollution is.
So let's hope for days we can cope better and less ignorance in the world. Enjoy the new day! and okay, the New Year too!
Take Care!
ST.
Oh and an old photo:
Stained Glass in Kölner Dom (Köln- Germany , 2012)
(Cologne Cathedral)
I hope you are enjoying a warm and sunny Christmas! Merry Christmas to you and the family, say hello from me. Also, you freaks, Christmas should be rainy and wet. (I don't think we had a 'white' Christmas in 5? years.)
Christmas also means the year is almost at it's end. Like in 6 days 2018 will be last year. Which means people come up with resolutions for the new year. I stopped bothering with that some time ago, since it never actually worked for me. Having to do something just cause we enter a new year doesn't really motivate me. It also makes no sense. Instead I try to do "I am not going to drink Cola for the month of November." and then I get my period and beg for it. (Water makes me nauseous, Coke helps the nausea). Yes, this is too much information.
Also it's stupid to think that a new year means new beginnings. I mean it would be pretty amazing if you could leave all the shit and trouble behind and start with a new shiny year to make even worse mistakes. Old and New Year don't work like that.
Anyway, instead of resolutions I am going to bring some KEYWORDS with me to the new year. All of the words are focused on my mental health. 2018 was a big year of HEALING for me, something that started in 2017. So I am taking that word with me to 2019. Work on healing my mental health. After all a healthy mind is a healthy person. I might end up taking this word with me for the rest of my life...
The next word I am taking with me is GROWTH. Personal growth is something that stopped happening when anxiety and depression took over. I had no clue how to develop myself or my ideas. Actually I didn't even realize I stopped thinking and doing. So when I realized this, it became one of my words.
CHANGE is something I really need to do. Mostly from negative and destructive thoughts to more positive constructive thoughts. The first way of thinking is part of most mental health issues, but it doesn't do anything for a person. To be fair I have been working at therapy with CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, a system to cope and improve 'negative' beliefs, thoughts, attitudes, emotions etc.) Another thing I want to change is my situation. I want to go back to a position where I am independent and confident. (Can't remember when I felt these two).
Something I used to do when I was younger was QUESTION everything and annoy people. "Why is this..." was something I asked way to often. And when Google and smart phones happened I stopped asking and looked up the answers. I don't like the feeling of bugging people with question, so I know the answers to the most random things. I still rather look something up online than ask for it. I mean we do live in time and space where the answers are at our fingertip. However not asking questions to others also means less social contact. Plus I do need to learn to ask questions again, after all I am studying to become a social worker. After listening the next important thing is to ask the right kind of questions. Not important just for social workers, but for communication in general.
ASK FOR HELP is another theme that keeps coming up at therapy and some words I really want to take with me to the new year. I feel very uncomfortable and awkward and stupid asking for help. I am however, (un)fortunately a human and not capable doing everything by myself. So I need to learn how to ask for help. It still is a very problematic issue for me. I am working on it!
SELF-CARE might be a cliche word to take with me, but this year I learned and realized how much I neglected this. I am still figuring out what this means and how I can take better care of myself. At the moment all I can say is: Face masks. I have a ridiculous amount of face masks. I have enough face masks to last for 5 to 10 years.
I think these are the words that I have been thinking about the past few months. Other things to do for next year is to make new happier memories. Visit places. New friends. Enjoy life. Be positive (as much as I can be).
Oh and now I'll moan about fireworks. The Netherlands needs to change the law about fireworks during old/new year. For weeks now I have been hearing fireworks going off at randomm times. Which is legal from 6 pm December 31st till 2 am on January 1st. (Which means it starts weeks before and stops days after) The usage of it will worsen on the last day of December. It will be so bad that no bird stays in the country, all the poor animals and pets will hide away. I keep thinking that we end up in a war zone instead of people celebrating a new year. I still am trying to figure out what the fun part of all the noise pollution is.
So let's hope for days we can cope better and less ignorance in the world. Enjoy the new day! and okay, the New Year too!
Take Care!
ST.
Oh and an old photo:
Stained Glass in Kölner Dom (Köln- Germany , 2012)
(Cologne Cathedral)
Hey cheeky,
ReplyDeleteThis is such a wonderful idea, and i love how positive you are trying to be. To be honest I'm both excited and scared about the new year. I want to work on my health, and i want some change in my situation, but the process is terrifying. Thankfully we can help each other out.