Random babble...

Hey Love,

Sooo… we both haven’t written in a very long time… Both have been miserable. You are trying to cough up your lungs so you can feed it to your parents. (Don’t laugh, I already made this joke, it is not funny anymore!) I tried to get rid of my stomach earlier this week… I won’t give you the details, but it was ugly. (Think Alien, but instead of my stomach it is my throat he is trying to get out of). Mum called my brother to come home so he could take me to the doctor. Our GP was on holidays, we have two, both took time off, and I am not very comfy with other GPs.

Anyhow, we called the ‘huisartsenpost’ where the gps work outside of the normal times. More comfortable with this choice, because it is in the same building as the hospital here in Delft. Except when you call this place you have to give out a lot more information than usual. They try to figure out the trouble on the phone, if it is something where you can take a paracetamol or take care of it at home they won’t ask you to come. Since I calmed down, she told me to take a medication and see how it goes. If I get bad in an hour or two to call back… I managed to eat food and drink something so I decided not to call. (She also asked if I was the only one vomiting… yes. So no stomach flu!)

The next day I ended up going to work. Thinking I could walk a bit outside, after being two days inside being sick… Well one hour walk ended up with me sleeping for hours after I got home. When I got up my mum told me to get ready to go to my uncle, they’re leaving for Turkey the next morning… (It changed from evening to morning…) Did that and back home I had issues sleeping and decided to write this.

This weekend I need to get my uni issues in order… I need to fix this before I go to Turkey. I need to start studying, the plan was start this week, but that did not happen…

All I can think is, I want to be in a point in my life I can cope with being me and doing things. Cause right now I just feel exhausted, anxious and pretty useless.

 I wish there was a technology that would just cut out the anxiety part of my brain (remove the amygdala! Remove it!)  and not turn me in to some sort of psychopath. It might be a good thing that that technology does not exist… I am pretty sure we would end up with a world with fearless people and that is not always a good thing.

I am not sure where I am trying to go witht his, but It did help with the getting sleepy part. So now I will go to sleep… Goodnight and have a good day. Happy craft post will come soon… 

Take Care. ST.